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montage of a love\\




When we're out in a crowd laughing loud And nobody knows why some days i forget the forms love can take- falling for you was easy. in the absence of words, a language of our own. when someone asks where i met you, it's always on the way home. truth is, i never knew a home before you. truth is, i met you on when sunset touched a gentle kiss on the forehead of the horizon. on the way back to the shared four- by- four of the hostel dorm. i remember you in that black denim shirt. frayed, rolled up. your eyes became the most beautiful sunset of my life. And you give me that smile i talked discourses about love. the intense kind. but i met you and the butterflies fluttered- you, made me want to drop the smile. when your voice washed over me, a blanket of goose- flesh, i- wanted to dance the way i liked. i wanted to sing for your ears to know. to take off the heels and put on the loose pants. the sound of my giggles surprised me- i had not known myself capable of them.


your smile, it had a way. of inciting in me hope. it had a hope. your love. And your hand touches mine When we're done making love the first time i loved you i was scared i would break you. you, who were art. but i forgot they taught me art survives forever to teach. i remember the feel of your beating heart as i traced patterns into your skin. your hoarse whispers against my ear. the way your fingers held me and broke me. and later, on the sweat stained sheet, arms that built me back. fragile art that taught me the softness of intimacy. 'Cause all of the small things that you do Are what remind me why I fell for you the silence in conversations. folding a fitted sheet. your palm against my forehead. "let me call a doctor", you said. the break in your voice, "mom is gone". toast and eggs. the pregnancy tests you found in the trash. "it's okay, baby. it's okay." the radio you cranked up. the half- dance pure- love. your voice singing soft- "for I can't help falling in love with you…" the domesticity of a simple love.


And when we're apart, and I'm missing you I close my eyes and all I see is you i can trace you in colours. you are the angry orange of the sunset. the turbulent blue of the sea. you are the streaks of golden sunlight that peep in through window slats. lavender smells of you. i can trace you in phantom longings. your fingers tracing circles on my thighs. the evening stubble against my lips. your hair- waves i ran my fingers through. the salt of your tears on my face. every part where you touched me with heavy breath. i can trace your body against mine. i can trace you in the tactile nostalgia of remembrance. the way your shirts still smell of you. the way coco- the- doggy- dog waits by the door. the splash of blood on the green dress you bought for me. the outline of your head that i held in my lap. a polaroid of us smiles on. the rains will come but you will not return. coco- the- doggy- dog does not know this. coco- the- doggy- dog will never understand. coco- the- doggy- dog continues to wait. by the door, one ear cocked, listening for you to never come home. Every "hi", every "bye", every "I love you" you've ever said falling in love was poetry. i have been asked, told. ordered. to put happy words to love. but love i have known has never ended happy. love i have known has split my skin, drawing a deep cut to my heart. a child's art. drawn in red.


when broken, fragile art too has jagged ends.


i hurt you the way you hurt me. but i loved you too. in the way you lived. in the way you were mine.

mine. a child's word. an adult's word. a philosopher's word. mine. tiny love against the world that was born of me and belonged to me.

when it rains the world belongs to me. for i met you in the rain and loved you in the rain and you were mine. only mine in that suspended time.


a professor of mine once wrote-

"good kid, understands art. but doesn't know poetry. will never know poetry."




 

Note: The italicised sections are lyrics taken from the song Those Eyes by New West, for creative purposes only

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Convidado:
04 de out. de 2023
Avaliado com 5 de 5 estrelas.

Good one.

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Convidado:
03 de out. de 2023
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Awesome

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Convidado:
03 de out. de 2023
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Superb!

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Convidado:
03 de out. de 2023
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Beautiful.

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